I left my heart in Mikatagahara
by Scytherageroses
Summary: Foolishly, Ieyasu Tokugawa attacks the Takeda at Mikatagahara. And at what cost? When he watches Tadakatsu Honda ride out to the front lines, he realizes all is lost. Will Tadakatsu return to him? Can he move on if he doesn't?


I'm on an Ieyasu/Tadakatsu fix right now. Obviously not a romantic pairing, but more leaning towards friendship, and the bonds further than friendship. And they're so cute together like this! Blame Sengoku Basara, watching young Ieyasu cry over Tadakatsu's death was heartbreaking. Like watching Nephrite die for the first time, or when Ash first released Butterfree-oh shut up, you know you cried, too!

Well...if you're as old as I...

Edit: Holy shit, I didn't do spell check. Screw it, I don't care. If there are errors-I DON'T CARE. I just wanted to post this cute story.

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><p>He watched in horror. Large brown eyes widening at the sight of blood splattering all over the mountains of Mikawa. He watched as dozens of soldiers fell, one by one, even the ones posing as Kagemushas for him.<p>

"I'm a fool...I'm a fool.." he said sadly.

All in Lord Ieyasu's name, these men fell. And this was because Ieyasu was far too impatient, going against everything he stood for, and attacking the Takeda head-on.

"My lord, you must escape! I will hold the Takeda back. Run to Hamamatsu castle!"

Ieyasu turned towards the voice, it was his general, and most treasured friend, Tadakatsu Honda. His eyes widened, and he held his hand out, screaming when he saw Tadakatsu run out to the front lines.

"No...if I lose him, I lose everything.." he said.

The large warrior turned to Ieyasu with a wink and a smile that said, _'Don't worry, I'll come back to you'_, and ran off on his horse. He knew he had to return to Ieyasu. Not just for the Tokugawa, not just for the future, but for Ieyasu himself.

He always said to himself, they were simply just friends. Tadakatsu started his relationship with Ieyasu as a young page boy, but being so close in age, their friendship moved beyond a boy of duties, to his most trusted friend.

But even now, he realized, they were more than just friends. Brothers, even soulmates.

They would do anything for each other.

And now, Tadakatsu Honda was ready to lay down his life for him.

Ieyasu screamed for him to return to him, he didn't care about victory anymore. Victory was impossible now. All he cared about was the safety of his men, and Tadakatsu.

"My lord, you have to run! Go!" his men shouted to him. But Ieyasu refused. He knew there was a possibly of Tadakatsu dying. And if it happened, he wanted to be next to him, he wanted him to be his last sight before crossing over to the other side.

"No...I can't leave without Tadakatsu!" he yelled. But to his dismay, his own soldier knocked him out, and kicked his horse, sending him into the direction of Hamamatsu Castle. As Ieyasu's conciousness was fading, all he could think about was being back with Tadakatsu.

Hours had passed. The battle was over, the Tokugawa had retreated, the Takeda had won. And at the cost of almost the entire Tokugawa army. Five men returned with Ieyasu, when he began to arise from his slumber.

He was hanging off his horse, in a state of delusion, when the gates to Hamamatsu opened. Sliding off the fast moving horse, his rotund body hit the ground, and bounced a few times, skidding off the dirt below him.

"My lord!"

Ieyasu pushed them away, and ripped off his helmet, throwing it against the wall. He did the same with his cannon spear, shattering both against the walls. He cursed himself, and pounded the dirt below, screaming and crying at his idiocy.

"So many lives...I've gone and killed them all!"

Though what was left of his men tried to make him think otherwise, nothing could stop Ieyasu from doing so. Nothing could stop the tears from flowing, nothing could stop the pain inside him.

"I'm sorry...so sorry.."

He knew that no words could bring them back, his soldiers were irreplaceable, precious treasures. Loyal to the end. Ieyasu clenched his fists and said,"Died because of my selfish actions!"

But there was a new pain in his heart. A pain deeper than before, when he realized there was no one sitting next to him.

"Tadakatsu..."

His friend had not returned yet. It was nearly two hours since his retreat, since he saw Tadakatsu ride off to the front lines. The Tokugawa had long retreated, the Takeda had long won.

And he was no where to be found.

His heart stopped, he clutched it and shook his head, getting rid of all the negative images in his mind. They flashed before his eyes, scenarios of Tadakatsu dying on the battlefield, his blood splattered all over the place, his hand reaching for a hand that wasn't there to hold him.

"I wanted to be there for you. I wanted to lead you to death.."

Another hour had passed.

Still no sign of Tadakatsu.

Ieyasu sat alone in his room at Hamamatsu, sitting on the pillow underneath him, candles being the only source of light in this room. A single candle before him, lit in memory of Tadakatsu.

It was his only sense of comfort.

"Do you remember, Tadakatsu, when we were young...so much fun we had together...even now, before this battle, our last words to each other."

_"To a warrior, loyalty is everything. No matter what trouble he faces, a warrior's heart must never waver."_

Ieyasu took his hand into his, squeezing tightly. Tadakatsu looked on with a bit of confusion, he knew Ieyasu could get very emotional when it came to his soldiers, espeically him.

"_I am confident with you by my side, Tadakatsu."_

Tadakatsu smiled as Ieyasu continued, _"Your power on the battlefield is matched only by the strength of your character."_

Still, Ieyasu thought of those words. He always trembled at the thought of losing Tadakatsu. He was the mightiest warrior in all the land, but he was still human, above all.

Ieyasu closed his eyes and blew out his candles, leaving the room in darkness, to match his heart, when he walked to his bed, laying down.

"I was supposed to fight for a better future, not just for me, but for the sake of the land. But how can I have a better future without you?"

He knew he was being dramatic, but thought nothing of it. Nothing was exaturated, some of his men, a few left from the battle thought of telling Ieyasu to simply suck it up, and move on, but they could never say it to his face.

He closed his eyes, and tried to sleep, but nothing happened. Ieyasu shared this bed so many times with Tadakatsu, that sleeping alone was such an alien feeling. It was a large bed, to accomidate Tadakatsu's large size, and the two often shared many a moment here, discussing their childhoods, discussing their plans for the future, amongst other things.

Of course the Tokugawa men snickered behind their backs, a rumors of an affair spread around Mikawa, but neither men cared. They just simply laughed it off. What they did was of no one's business but theirs.

Ieyasu knew Tadakatsu wasn't much of a cuddler, but he would always give a simple friendly hug before slumber. Other than that, Tadakatsu wasn't exactly the best guy to share a bed with, neither was Ieyasu. Where Tadakatsu swung and kicked in his sleep, Ieyasu snored like a horse.

But when it turned morning, and they were the first things they saw, everything was alright again.

This morning would be different, Ieyasu thought to himself. Every morning, he would wake up to the sun rising behind him, and Tadakatsu's ocean blue eyes gazing back at him.

This time, there would be no sun rise, and there would be no blue eyes staring back at him.

More tears fell from his eyes at the realization that he may never see his best friend again, and he clutched his pillow, touching the cold and empty spot on his bed, reaching out for a hand, a body that might never come back.

"I'm sorry, Tadakatsu, I've failed you. I've failed us.."

And so he closed his eyes to slumber, taking the long road alone this time, hoping, praying that Tadakatsu would someday return.

It was early morning now. Three AM to be exact, when Tadakatsu stumbled into Hamamatsu Castle. He had taken the route back, helped by lit mantles, possibly lit by Ieyasu himself, to guide him back to him.

Tadakatsu smiled at that. Even if he thought him dead, he would lead him back to the castle. Seeing the fire, he began to run, dash, sprint back into the castle, despite his weariness, and back into the arms of his lord.

Walking back into the castle, he began to remove his armor, throwing it away, piece by piece, on the way back to his room. At the door, he removed his helmet, and his body suit, opting to wear only his night kimono that Ieyasu got him for his most recent birthday.

To his surprise, he heard snoring.

When he opened his door, he smirked to himself, and saw Ieyasu curled up on his bed. Apparently sometime during the night, Ieyasu must have left his room, and went into Tadakatsu's.

He was clutching a spare helmet Tadakatsu didn't wear anymore, and mumbled, talked in his sleep about how much he missed him. Tadakatsu's heart grew warm seeing this, reminding himself that he always knew how special he was in Ieyasu's heart.

Ieyasu always treasured his soldiers, but he put just a little bit of extra value in Tadakatsu. It always brought a smile to Tadakatsu's face, knowing he wasn't just blindly serving a man who wanted the land for himself, but was serving a man who treasured him as much as he treasured Ieyasu.

Tadakatsu walked to the bed, and took the helmet out of Ieyasu's hands. He noticed the tear streaks, and noticed the visible cuts on his lord's puffy face from the golden spiked antlers on his helmet.

"Hey. Stop your crying, Ieyasu, I'm here." he said.

He wasn't much of a comforter, in fact, he really didn't know how to comfort anyone. When his own daughter was confused about fighting, he simply handed her her bow and told her to keep going for the sake of the land. When his girlfriend was upset, hell, she was always upset, an emotional wreck due to Nobunaga Oda's death, he didn't even know what to say.

Even now, watching the many tears Ieyasu shed on the count of him, it tore his heart apart, and he couldn't even think of the right words to say.

Instead, he let actions speak louder than words, and walked around the bed, getting in, and pulling Ieyasu to his side. He let Ieyasu's head rest on his shoulder, and put his arm around his waist, holding him close.

And the smile on Ieyasu's face was evidence enough that he had done the right thing.


End file.
